Eight Years of Madness
by Ancient Spoon
Summary: Eight years are a long time. Especially if you are frozen in a block of ice and can't move. Because Xanxus was conscious the whole time, thank you very much. Oneshot.


Note: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn, it belongs to Akira Amano.

Well, I checked the story again and again but since English is not my first language there a probably still mistakes. Please feel free to point them out. (And leave a comment for the lonely authoress).

I hope you enjoy this oneshot as much as I did writing it! :)

-X-

**Eight Years of Madness**

-X-**  
**

Xanxus couldn't move. The old bastard stood right before him with his annoying eyes and Xanxus would have _loved_ to tear him limb from limb. But he _couldn't move_, damn it!

Now the old geezer was apologizing to him and telling him just how much he wished that Xanxus was his son and - boo-hoo! like Xanxus cared about his damn lies. Just why the hell was he even able to see and listen? If the ice that he could just barely see in the corner of his eye and the talk the old man had with one of his guardians (who had entered shortly after the Ninth's annoying speech) was anything to go by then he was freaking frozen!

Two more trashes entered the room; one of them dragged an unconscious and bloody Squalo before the old bastard and pulled out his gun pointing it at Squalo's head.

"STOP!"

The voice carried through the old, empty basement. The three guardians flinched and even _Xanxus_ would have – if he could, that is. It was rare for the geezer to raise his voice and glance like that. But it was gone as fast as it came. The old bastard moved out of Xanxus' field of vision as he ordered his trashes to not kill any of the Varia and that the basement was off limits for everyone.

The three trashed followed taking the shark trash with them. And that left Xanxus alone in the basement.

-X-

After the thirty-fourth try to get his flame to melt the freaking ice Xanxus gave up. He couldn't even feel his flame! But then again he couldn't feel anything of his body. He couldn't even move his eyes and was forced to stare in that one freaking direction.

It was fucking _boring_.

Hell, anything would be better than this! He would even sink as low as to _twirl his thumbs_, just to have something to do! This boredom was driving him insane (if he was ever sane to being with).

Back then Xanxus didn't know how _beautiful_ the silence was.

-X-

After a long time –or maybe it wasn't, Xanxus couldn't really look at the clock to check– the old bastard was back. He looked even older and tired like he hadn't slept in days.

Servers him right, thought Xanxus and mentally smirked.

But that was when the torture started: The old trash started _talking_. He talked and talked and talked. And FREAKING TALKED! He talked about everything from the Varia to his breakfast. Fucking _everything._

Why the hell would he say all this to _Xanxus_? The old man must have gone senile if he thought any of that shit would interest him in any way. So it was clear: The old bastard was torturing him. (Or he didn't know that Xanxus could hear every word, but Xanxus quickly shoved that thought aside when the Ninth started talking about how he had hoped Xanxus to marry some random trash woman from an allied family).

After an eternity the old man finally shut up and Xanxus was actually close to being happy. Close being the key word. But then he said the words that Xanxus would later put him into Gola Mosca for.

"Tomorrow your men from the Varia will be allowed to visit you, my boy."

-X-

And they did visit. The first one to come in was Squalo thought he could hear Levi from outside whining that he wanted to go in first. After a loud "VOI! YOU'RE GOING IN LAST!" that could probably be heard in the whole freaking castle the shark slammed the basement door shut and limbed over to Xanxus. He was obviously still injured for the fight but his look was serious.

Squalo gave Xanxus' figure in the ice a long look before a grin formed on his face.

"I'll get you out," he declared then he turned and left. That was Squalo's first and last visit.

-X-

The next one was Belphegor. The eight year old hitman seemed to enjoy the whole situation. He didn't get out an understandable word because he was on the floor laughing his head off.

Xanxus really wanted to kill him and he did try – but the fucking ice! So he had to endure the whole visit quietly. And Xanxus normally didn't do quietly. So it was no wonder that after Bel's visits were all spent in the same fashion that when Xanxus was finally free he grabbed Bel's head in his hand and released his flame.

After that incident Bel had to wear sunglasses for a whole month to hide his eyes. Xanxus made sure that Lussuria took many photos. The prince trash had to live with the burn his whole life but thanks to those damn bangs (that grew back far too fast) it was well hidden.

-X-

Mammon's visit was, like Squalo's, his first and only one. The baby walked into the room and just stared. Once he had observed the whole thing he mumbled something about it being a waste of time.

Still the baby sat down in front of the ice for five whole minutes – not that Xanxus knew that it was five minutes. After that the baby got up, told Xanxus that he would charge him for the visit and didn't come back.

A shame because that was one of Xanxus last quiet moments in those eight years. (And the years after that weren't any quieter).

-X-

The first thing that came into his field of vision as the door open again was a bright red _duster_. That could only mean one thing: Lussuria.

And he was right. The gay lord came into the basement with an army of cleaning tools. Then one second he cooed how sorry he was that Xanxus had to bare with this terrible situation and the next he was cleaning all over the room. And that wasn't the worst Lussuria was _singing_ the WHOLE. FREAKING. TIME.

It goes without saying that Lussuria's and Xanxus' taste in music did not mix well and Xanxus wished nothing more than for the trash to shut up. He was even so far that he would have said _please_. But he just couldn't. Not even when Lussuria started decorating the room.

As the gay lord trash had finished and freaking _skipped_ around the room to examine his work Xanxus just wanted to scream. He actually _liked_ the scene of destruction pained with a mix of his, Squalo's and the old bastard's blood even if it had gotten boring to look at.

On another note Xanxus swore that if he ever heard Lussuria sing again he would take a fuel soaked rag, shove it in Lussuria's throat and light it while laughing loudly. How Lussuria managed to escape Xanxus' wrath after he was freed is a mystery that will never be solved. Ever.

-X-

The last person to visit that day was Leviathan. It was _hell_ itself. At that point Xanxus was _sure_ that the old geezer was torturing him. Levi was crying through the whole visit. Who the hell wants to see a grown man cry and whine about how much he missed you?

And then there were Levi's motions – if you could call it that. The man was gesturing the whole time while shouting out his heart. Xanxus _really_ didn't want to see that and after he was free and could sleep again this visit was the cause of many nightmares.

But since the universe hated him – Xanxus refused to believe in god – Levi, Bel and Lussuria managed to visit him every year on his birthday. This led to Xanxus hating his birthday even more and to the question why the old bastard couldn't have killed him? (Not that he ever asked this out loud).

Levi was not punished because Xanxus would and will never admit to actually seeing this …performance but the trash was not to get into a radius of ten meter of him for a LONG time.

-X-

The night – at least Xanxus guessed that it was night – was the most wonderful night in Xanxus' whole messed up life. And it was the silence before the storm because the next day the walls came.

Some idiot trash obviously had the worthless idea to put up four massive metal walls around his block of ice. Xanxus really did not see a point in those walls; he was in a freaking block of ice that could not be melted, what were those walls for?

The walls were actually _nice_. They were damn boring to look at but he didn't see Lussuria's decoration anymore or Levi on his next seven birthdays. (If had to see THAT again, he would have died, though the voice alone was disturbing enough).

But with the walls his worst nightmare came: His _guards_. (Again a pointless idea). Those guards were the most annoying and worthless trashes out there. There were two of them. Xanxus called them drunkard trash and snorer trash.

Obviously drunkard trash came to work drunk and there was the talking again. The trash whined about everything. Xanxus wanted to yell at the man to just quit his job in the mafia and to go shot his damn three daughters and wife. And then Xanxus would kill him _slowly and painfully_.

Snorer trash on the other hand spent his whole working time sleeping and snoring loudly. If he wasn't used to Squalo's loud voi he might be declared him the loudest person he knew. Also Xanxus hated the bastard because he could freaking _sleep_. Later the trash was caught sleeping on the job and was removed. When Xanxus heard that the snorer trash was shot and died on his first mission out there he laughed – mentally anyway.

The replacement for snorer trash was not any better, the guy was too damn happy all the time. The singer trash (as Xanxus called him) spent his whole working time singing or whistling. Since even Xanxus was not able to ban music from the planet he had to at least ban a number of songs from the Varia, the rest of the Vongola and every allied family.

When the son of some mafia don had dared to sing 'Ninety-nine bottles of beer' near Xanxus, he had destroyed their whole family quicker than you could finish the first sentence of the song.

-X-

For eight years Xanxus was caught in the madness that was singer trash, snorer trash, drunkard trash, Levi's, Lussuria's and Bel's Birthday visits and the visits of the ninth that he made from time to time to talk about everything that didn't interest Xanxus.

By the time he was finally, _finally_ freed the last of his patience had snapped once and for all. As he lay on the ground not knowing who had gotten him out (thanks to those metal walls) he noticed he could feel his body again. And that wounds don't heal inside a giant ice block.

When the Varia came into the room and crowed around him the first thing he did was to order Bel to find his fucking guards and kill them all in the most painful way he knew. Then he turned to the long haired woman who looked like Squalo and told her to scratch that spot on his nose that he just noticed had been itching the whole eight years.


End file.
